Thursday, July 17, 2008

How to Make Your Kid Hate Soccer

First, start at a young age where the frustration level is high and the attention span is really low. Two and half is suitable and so we will use Austin as an example.

Second, begin by teaching the child how to deliver nice, swift kicks. This is helpful to the game but will also begin to tire the youngster quickly.

Next, teach the kid to dribble the ball. Quite a difficult skill for a 2 year old, so failure and frustration are sure to set in quickly.

Then, have the kid practice kicking to a large target. This will lift the spirits of the child and help him feel successful and capable right before....





...you give him the absolute smallest goal you can find that will still allow the ball to enter between the posts.

Come on Austin, we know you can do it! Just a little further kiddo. Isn't soccer fun???

Yeah, buddy, it's in there. Too bad you can't see that without having to bend over. Who are your parents and why do they torture you so?

"I'm outta here! I hear the neighbors have a soccer net and it has to be better than that ridiculous thing."


Obviously I'm just kidding. Austin had a great time playing soccer the other day and didn't even notice that we gave him a torturously small goal. We are thinking of enrolling him in a fall soccer program because he is actually really into soccer right now. He is constantly saying, "nice shot" and even the occasional "gooooal." It is just too cute!

14 comments:

Jenn said...

How funny! That is very small,the poor kid!

tricki_nicki said...

Ha! That's way funny - what the heck did we do before we had kid entertainment?

Melissa said...

Kids are more entertaining than TV!

McMommy said...

GOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!

Loved it!

Happy Pow!!

Allison R said...

so adorable. He'll be a great forward one day - his aim is going to be spot on because of the small goal you're teaching him with.

Happy POW

Darleen said...

my favorite soccer team: whatever team my son is playing on this year!!

Chelle said...

That was too cute! I loved the play by play :)

Carol said...

My boys adore playing football/soccer. (Excuse the Britishism!)

He did well to score that goal, that looks like no easy feat!

Beth said...

Okay, now I'm really regretting my child in 'sports camp' but how I do love to watch those little guys trying to run!

Leslie said...

That's too cute! Loved that little goal. Happy POW!

The White House said...

That is so cute. I think I should introduce my two year old to soccer. He's into baseball, which is a little violent when he thinks that his sister's head is a proper substitute for a ball. Happy POW!

Mamasphere said...

Yeah, start 'em young! My husband is Brasilian, and he was outside playing soccer with our daughter as soon as she could walk.

Simply Shannon said...

So cute! I love his chubby little boy legs!
Happy POW!

Wendi said...

Oh the torture of that teeny, tiny, goal!!!
Cute post!