Sunday, June 8, 2008

Utter Embarrassment (Pardon the Pun)

**For the men who read my blog, this is your warning that the content of this post is a female related embarrassing moment. Feel free to read it, just be prepared**

I don't really know why I am about to share this embarrassing moment while it is fresh in my mind, other than that someday my children will be embarrassed by the things I have shared about them on this site, so it is only fair that I subject myself to it as well.

This morning, after putting the baby down for her morning nap, I decided to run out and try to get some errands done without any children. One of the most critical errands was a stop at Hallmark. June is typically a crazy month for us, but this one will take the cake. In our family there are 6 birthdays, 3 graduations, 2 anniversaries, 1 wedding and Father's Day. Needless to say, I had quite a stack of cards to buy.

I got there and tried to do my best to select good cards quickly, because I really wanted to be able to hit my other two errands before returning home. Mia has only had eyes for Mommy lately and because of the hysterics she would surely throw without me there, Mark was ready to speed dial me as soon as she woke up. I finally made all my selections and made my way to the counter with my nearly six inch stack of cards. As I was waiting for the check out person to finish with the customer in front of me, I started wondering how much more time I would have to get things done before the baby woke up. That's all I was doing, just wondering. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and I had no sense that my body was also contemplating Mia and her ultimate awakening.

Now would be the time to explain that I am a breastfeeding mom. Typically, during the first couple months of nursing you have to worry about the possibility of leakage, but after that you can relax. Normally you can feel the milk "letting down," which means it is about to come out. If you put some firm pressure on your breasts by crossing your arms you can usually avert an embarrassing moment. And, believe me I have had a couple of those embarrassments before, but nothing like today.

So, there I am checking out and trying to strike up a conversation with the younger girl behind the counter. I began telling her about the craziness of the month and all the reasons I had to buy cards. She wouldn't make eye contact with me, or really even look much in my direction, which I just chalked up to her not being very friendly. Oh well, I thought, some people just don't like their jobs. I paid for my cards and walked out of the store. I was headed to my car through the parking lot and I passed a man who looked at me, did a double take, and then looked at me strangely. It was then that I looked down and realized my errand running was abruptly coming to an end. Not only had I leaked, and not felt a thing, but there was a wet spot the size of a grapefruit on one side and the size of a kiwi on the other. I was soooo utterly embarrassed! Or, should I say "udderly" embarrassed. No wonder the poor girl at Hallmark would not look at me. The longer I stood in front of her the more milk I had draining into my shirt.

I called Mark and told him I was headed home. I explained what had happened and we had a good laugh. When I got home and he saw the size of my wet spots he said, "Wow honey, that is one sexy look you are sporting."

Thank goodness for that man in the parking lot. Otherwise, I likely would have made quite a fashion statement at a couple other locations. I think I needed a good laugh today and apparently God decided that laugh should come at my expense.

1 comment:

Hot Air said...

Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry- but I'm commenting even if I come across like a blog stalker. (I'm doing a quick surf through your posts to see what favorite things we might have in common- ha.)

I can't believe what a sense of humor you must have to post this one- AWESOME! I thought it was bad getting "spotted" at home... this was my worst nightmare. And now after reading about your experience, it doesn't seem so mortifying. Maybe I won't worry so much next go-around ;)